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February 15, 2018, 9:45 AM

Catch the Foxes (Relationship Destroyers)



Little things really do matter.   Take for example a roadway that under the stress of daily use forms small little cracks.  Then over the years water runs through it, sometimes that water freezes, causing more stress.  Then it thaws and the cycle repeats itself and eventually a pothole is created. Potholes then over time can cause problems for vehicles and pedestrians. Sometimes the problems are immediate but most of them are so subtle that we don’t think anything of them.  The problem with the small cracks is we pay little attention to them, putting them off, “I’ll get to that…” We never do and before we know it the small has grown and subtle damage is now not so subtle.  We throw our hands up in frustration and even in despair.  How could it get so bad so quickly?  It didn’t.   The same can be said about our relationships especially in our marriages.

Hear the words of the Shulamite woman found in the Song of Solomon 2:15 “Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom.”  (ESV)

She is telling the love of her life deal with those little yet pesky foxes, so that our love that is blossoming won’t be spoiled.  

My wife and I have been married 18 years going on 19 this coming May.  If there is one thing I have learned it’s this.  The enemy doesn’t always use brute force when it comes his attacks. His attacks are often subtle if not mundane. He uses little things in his effort to destroy our lives our relationships, our marriages.  

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10 (ESV)

What are the little foxes in your relationship that could spoil the love you share with your spouse? 

  1. Lack of gratitude- We have a tendency to take each other for granted over time, don’t! 
  2. Unrealistic expectations- this is when we desire to be served more than we serve.
  3. Idols (kids, money, social media, etc.…) Anything that you place your value and trust in other than God is an idol. 
  4. Pornography (Visual and Emotional Porn) (Matthew 5:27-30)
  5. Assume the worst
  6. Unresolved conflict (Ephesians 4:26-27)
  7. Toxic Tongue- think before you speak
  8. All work and no play (Ecclesiastes 9:7-10)
  9. FamLIARity.  Did you ever notice the other word that lies within “familiarity”?  You truly never know someone completely but you can always get to know them better and over time. People change, you change. People “familiar” with me 23 years ago wouldn’t know me today. You’ve heard it said, “familiarity breeds contempt” Stability is as must in our marriages but leave room for adventure and spontaneity. 

So, what’s one to do?  Catch the foxes!  Be diligent in your pursuit of those things that can slowly poison your relationship(s) ultimately bring death to them. 

“Be sober-minded; be watchful.  Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 (ESV)

  1. Guard your hearts and minds in Christ.  Be in the Word!  Remember who your first love should be? (JESUS)
  2. Learn to love and serve as Jesus did.
  3. Deal with the foxes swiftly.

Today you have the opportunity not to just show your love and appreciation but to start doing it every day while keeping your eyes and guard up. Catching the foxes that could if left unattended ruin the vineyard of your relationships. 

 

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